Survivors of mental health crises related to military service say help is available and it’s crucial to seek it.
One survivor is David Blackburn, a retired major who served in the Canadian Army. He says it took many years to realize the impact his service had on him.
“I (was) released in 2011, medically for physical injuries,” said Blackburn. “Five years later, I had a mental breakdown, diagnosed (with) late onset PTSD, anxiety and depression.”
He says mental health injuries are just as real and terrible as physical ones.
“We call it disorder, like PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder, but it’s an injury. What I’ve learned through my recent journey dealing with this injury is that it’s pain. Physical pain, psychological pain, it’s the same, it knows no difference.”
His mental pain, which began before he ever left the military, had even impacted who he was as a person, causing his family to feel the pain as well.
“Summer of ’09 I’d been posted back to Canada from Texas and I came home single.”
He says he never understood how much his PTSD had changed who he was until more recently.
“My physical injuries, and unknown at the time, my psychological injuries had changed my character,” said Blackburn.
“It greatly impacted the relationship with my first wife, the mom of my kids. Only now, as my kids are in their 20s, living their lives and asking hard questions, am I realizing the impact I had on them.”
He says he finally took the step to seek help after his mental health had fallen so far he realized he had hit rock bottom.
“I broke down. It was April 28, 2016, I broke down on the side of Anthony Henday (in Edmonton), driving home from work. I could not do it anymore. I was broke, I was psychologically broken.”
Get weekly health news
For Blackburn, there was a stigma during his time of service where soldiers would not want to risk stepping up to say they weren’t OK. Others suffering in silence echo the same sentiment.
“When I joined, you didn’t want to come forward. You were shamed, you were treated as weak,” said Glenn Miller, a retired warrant officer.
Another concern for soldiers fighting the personal war is what may happen to their career if they seek help.
The military says treatment can impact a career, but it is still more important to get help, especially if it can be caught early.
“Will it have an impact on my career if I self-identify as having depression or anxiety? The answer is maybe, but it’s better to get help because, often, if it’s caught early, we can get you the help you need and it won’t have an impact, overall, on your career,” said Meghan Joiner, a major in the Canadian Armed Forces Directorate of Mental Health.
Despite the ‘older’ way of thinking still existing in some corners of the military, most say the stigma is falling and perceptions are expanding.
“That environment has now changed so much that we encourage people to come forward. We put the support mechanisms in place,” said Miller.
Joiner says more soldiers are seeking help than ever before, but that is not a bad thing.
“We’re seeing more people come in the door and I don’t think that necessarily represents an increase in the number of mental health cases, but I think it represents and increase in the number of people wanting help.”
Meanwhile, Veterans Affairs Canada says veterans in need of support should not be afraid to ask for help.
“The message should be, if our veterans need help, just to contact us,” said Mark Roy, acting senior director of health care programs with Veterans Affairs Canada. “We’re there to answer their questions. If they need something in the local community, we’ll be there to try to help them.”
He says veterans in need of immediate mental health help can get the support they need even before their claim is processed.
“It may take some time for the application to get processed. So, what we’ve done in the meantime is created the mental health benefit. So, this has been in place now since April of ’22. What that does is, while the veteran has applied, it gives them direct access, free access, to mental health treatments for a period of two years while they wait for their approved condition,” said Roy.
For those who have survived, they hope their courage to speak up compels others to do the same.
“As a person who struggled through it, I know there’s a big leap of faith to seek that help. So, do take that leap of faith, there’s a big hand waiting for you to assist you,” said Miller.
The same goes for Blackburn, who says families, friends and other loved ones would be heavily impacted if a suicide is followed through.
“Don’t worry about what others think. Get the assistance you need; your life is too precious. Too many people rely on you — not to make that seem like it’s the only reason, but it’s not that they rely on you, they love you and they want you to live. So, get the help. Ask for the help instead of all the other alternatives.”
It is also agreed upon by those serving that families are also impacted and may experience mental health crises of their own.
“When I left, personally, to Bosnia, I wanted to go to the Cenotaph, show my daughter what it was and if dad’s name was on there, what that really means,” said Miller. “My wife’s relative is on the Cenotaph, so (my daughter) understands that soldiers die, so she kind of related my trip of going overseas to I could die. Even at a young age, she put those pieces together.”
Veterans Affairs Canada says military families are also able to take advantage of their services.
If you or someone you know is in crisis and needs help, resources are available. In case of an emergency, please call 911 for immediate help.
For immediate mental health support, call 988. For a directory of support services in your area, visit the Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention at suicideprevention.ca.
Learn more about preventing suicide with these warning signs and tips on how to help.